It's Dark in Here

It's dark in here. I've just spent 2 weeks with you, the first time since August. You live so far away, man, so so far. And guess what? Now that you're gone, I'm brooding on the negatives. I'm taking "some time off" from you, hoping I will notice the positves. But man, we are an old married couple, and it sucks!

Let me tell you my concerns:
1. Not enough affection, private or public. I need "Love Love Love", to quote the Beatles.
2. Who are your friends? Why are you telling me about people with cyber-lives, is that all you know? Don't you have friends from university, work, or when you were on the Dutch national rowing team???
3. OK I won't talk about real estate. If you promise not to talk about people you only know from the internet. Fuck you, too.
4. Our sex drives don't match. Don't you see I am wet for you all the time? Why are you rolling over and touching yourself? If you can only be with me sporadically throughout a year, why the fuck are you fondling yourself when I AM RIGHT HERE?

Aargh. For some reason, I am thinking this is not a match? Yes, I am definitely thinking this is not a match. And the funny thing is, the weather was horrible when you were here. And then you left and the sun came out. Now that I am trying to figure this shit out, all I can hear through my open window is fog horns: a ship has been attempting to enter the bay safely for over and hour, and the conversation between that ship and the lighthouse is far more intriguing than the ones we had when you were here. Shit, you know what? That really sucks.