We all know men can be insenstive and that women are very often overly sensitive. This is why we have difficulty communicating. Even with random strangers.
So here's another tip for men: If you unexpectedly encounter a woman you've never met (i.e., due to answering an "for sale" ad on Craigslist.org), and you misunderstood her initial e-mail instructions and you are frustrated things aren't going as you expected, don't, I repeat DON'T say this: "No wonder you're not married!" You should never say this to a woman, especially to a woman who is over 30 (even though she doesn't look like it, er, maybe I did in that light...) who is more than likely already beating herself up about being over 30 and not being married!
First of all, it won't help win her over to your side (or give you the entertainment center you thought you were buying because you live in la-la land and don't read). Second of all, what men need to realize is that their odd insensicle outbursts, that come into their head and then out of the mouth and then disappear, stay with women much longer.
Good rule of thumb here: if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all.
1.31.2006
1.30.2006
I Hate Pennies
Dear People Who Decide What U.S. Currency Should Be,
Thank you for making some of our paper bills pretty (although, making them more like EU money would be cooler). I can't wait until all the solid green bills are out of circulation and all we have is rainbow money.
You even did cool stuff with quarters and nickels. I suppose next on your agenda is the dime.
However, before you get completely down the list of coins to update, please just eliminate altogether the penny. It's a ridiculous use of metal, machines and man hours. I have all of mine in a zip-lock bag because I hate carrying them around. And, more importantly, not having a penny change on me when I need it can reak unnecessary havoc. One cent. Who cares! What a peon of a valuation. I slowy accumulate enough pennies to make a dollar. Even homeless people are insulted by pennies. Really, they would prefer the minumum is a nickel. "Sir, if you had a choice, would you prefer someone give you a handfull of nickels or a handfull of pennies?" I dare you to go out on the street and ask them.
So please give sincere cosideration to my request. Inflation alone has flat out eliminated the penny. People drop them and don't care, people leave them at the counter because they don't want the weight in their pockets, and stores often give them away freely if you don't quite make change. Just eliminate them already!
Kind regards,
Mona
Thank you for making some of our paper bills pretty (although, making them more like EU money would be cooler). I can't wait until all the solid green bills are out of circulation and all we have is rainbow money.
You even did cool stuff with quarters and nickels. I suppose next on your agenda is the dime.
However, before you get completely down the list of coins to update, please just eliminate altogether the penny. It's a ridiculous use of metal, machines and man hours. I have all of mine in a zip-lock bag because I hate carrying them around. And, more importantly, not having a penny change on me when I need it can reak unnecessary havoc. One cent. Who cares! What a peon of a valuation. I slowy accumulate enough pennies to make a dollar. Even homeless people are insulted by pennies. Really, they would prefer the minumum is a nickel. "Sir, if you had a choice, would you prefer someone give you a handfull of nickels or a handfull of pennies?" I dare you to go out on the street and ask them.
So please give sincere cosideration to my request. Inflation alone has flat out eliminated the penny. People drop them and don't care, people leave them at the counter because they don't want the weight in their pockets, and stores often give them away freely if you don't quite make change. Just eliminate them already!
Kind regards,
Mona
1.28.2006
Wise?
Uh. Yeah. Was it wise of me to set this up to FeedBurner? Because.... it's really discouraging to see that NO ONE has subscribed to my feed. Pathetic.
Add me feed me add me feed me. If you don't know how to do that - e-mail me and I'll tell you - it's really easy!
Add me feed me add me feed me. If you don't know how to do that - e-mail me and I'll tell you - it's really easy!
1.27.2006
You Suck And...
You Suck. And, you don't. This is not how I wanted this blog to go.
There you are, on the other side of this "pond" having your own life. And here I am, wondering whether to post my feelings on my own blog or to the "rants and raves" section of Craigslist.
Why? Because I want to rant the shit out of this. I have a lot of frustration. There is a lot to rave about with you, too. Fuck. I hate you. And... I don't.
Here's the problem with pragmatism: you see both sides. Look for the balance. To be pragmatic is to be always looking for a soft spot between a rock and a hard place.
So, here I have been trying to see both sides of how you treat me. I love your generosity. But it is in all these f'd up kinds of ways. You spent tons of dough getting me nice gifts and coming to visit. You've spent a year having long talks with me. You have spent a lot of time helping me get my business in a prominent place on the internet. You're "hosting" a lot of my content.
However you are not generous in your communication. You are not generous anymore with your time. You have not shared your heart. I feel like the last thing on your "to-do" list.
And so I wonder. Actually, I don't wonder anymore. I guess I'm not being so pragmatic, after all. I am not weighing your side; I don't see that you have a VALID side at all. You are losing me, you are losing me, you are losing me. But at the same time I am super sad about the things you have to offer, and the things I HAVE to offer, and the fact that all those things have gone to waste for a while.
This morning I realized I am ready to let someone else enjoy the great things about you. Well, not completley, but I'm getting there. It doesn't make sense for me to cling to you when there could be a woman out there who will make you want to be the best man you can be.
There you are, on the other side of this "pond" having your own life. And here I am, wondering whether to post my feelings on my own blog or to the "rants and raves" section of Craigslist.
Why? Because I want to rant the shit out of this. I have a lot of frustration. There is a lot to rave about with you, too. Fuck. I hate you. And... I don't.
Here's the problem with pragmatism: you see both sides. Look for the balance. To be pragmatic is to be always looking for a soft spot between a rock and a hard place.
So, here I have been trying to see both sides of how you treat me. I love your generosity. But it is in all these f'd up kinds of ways. You spent tons of dough getting me nice gifts and coming to visit. You've spent a year having long talks with me. You have spent a lot of time helping me get my business in a prominent place on the internet. You're "hosting" a lot of my content.
However you are not generous in your communication. You are not generous anymore with your time. You have not shared your heart. I feel like the last thing on your "to-do" list.
And so I wonder. Actually, I don't wonder anymore. I guess I'm not being so pragmatic, after all. I am not weighing your side; I don't see that you have a VALID side at all. You are losing me, you are losing me, you are losing me. But at the same time I am super sad about the things you have to offer, and the things I HAVE to offer, and the fact that all those things have gone to waste for a while.
This morning I realized I am ready to let someone else enjoy the great things about you. Well, not completley, but I'm getting there. It doesn't make sense for me to cling to you when there could be a woman out there who will make you want to be the best man you can be.
1.24.2006
The Whole Story
This story is not for the faint of heart. Anyone who has given themselves completely to another will undoubtedly find some resonating qualities. Especially if you are a Cancer or you have given yourself completely to an ASSHOLE.
This is the most recent history of my long distance relationship:
I took that week after M left to try and think about things. It was really easy to do because he never once contacted me. In fact, since he has been back (3 weeks now) he has only contacted me 3 times. Can you already note I'm a bit peeved?
Back to M's departure. I decided to not contact him for a week and reflect. In that week I realized I really couldn't sort my own ideas out because I had no idea how he felt about me. I knew that if he said this could really be something, that I would give it a go. But he has never said anything other than "you're cute." What the fuck does that mean? Somehow the next time we talked I needed him to actually verbalize on a scale of "i like you - i care a lot for you - I love you" how he feels for me to really know how to proceed. Of course I am not stupid enough to demand and break it down like that.
Anyway, I had to "schedule" our next conversation, because he didn't seem to have any concept of time nor the need to contact me at all. That convo happened last Monday, almost a week after he got back.
Before I go on I want to tell you that I am a Cancer, and inherently with relationships that means I have a very hard shell around my heart, it is guarded with armor until a point at which I think it is ok to trust that a person can give me what I need and it is then a pleasure for me to give all I can to that person. Then I am 150% in. During the trip M pretty much broke down the wall, so I really just needed to hear that it was worth it to break it down. Even tho you may think it is "high maintenance," once I am "in" I need a lot of affirmation that I am giving so much of myself to the right person.
So, after a little catch up of the week after the trip, I did say that I didn't know how he felt about me. He said "I can't believe you don't know how I feel about you!" But he didn't actually then tell me, so I have, after 3 weeks come to my own conclusions, and if they are wrong, it's his fault for not clarifying.
But I digress. In that convo I told him that I felt a little neglected; that because he hadn't tried to contact me I felt like I wasn't important to him, he gave me a "pfh, oh come on." We talked and he said he was still thinking of moving to here (geez, can't tell me how he feels but he's moving here for me), and all the hang-ups he has to weigh, like leaving when he has good career ops, leaving in general, and what if he moves here and we break up, then what does he have? I told him he's putting the cart before the horse, because I need to feel like I am missed and important and I am not getting that, and these are things I will always need in a relationship, and if he doesn't want to, or isn't capable, of doing it now, then there will never be concern about moving here because we won't make it to that point. He said that I was fully capable of contacting him too, and I agreed, but I also informed him that when he contacts me on his own volition it makes my day and makes me feel amazing blah blah blah so please try...he said he understood and would try to contact me more but he didn't want it to feel like an obligation. I said I don't want it to feel like he's being forced either, and we both felt a little better.
I still didn't hear how he feels about me, but based on how he communicates I could safely say it was minimally "cares a lot." I was giving him a lot of the benefit of the doubt, convincing myself that his inability to communicate his feelings to me, along with the fact that he didn't communicate as often as I would like, were all cause of his being Foreign, and that maybe that's just not how it's done There, and maybe the previous women in his life have never asked it of him. But after that Big Talk, he disappeared again. I rationalized that with the whole "2 jobs, the wedding video and the website" i.e., his really busy factor, but it was getting harder and harder to rationalize. I was wondering if thinking he "cares a lot" was being a little aggressive on my part and that "he's just not into me" was more where we stood.
It was very difficult but I refused to contact him first. The stupid thing about him though, is that he leaves a very obvious trail of activity - so I can see when he is online and not contacting me, and I can when he is trolling his friends blogs and leaving comments and he's not bothering to contact me. So I was getting really pissed because what am I, an afterthought? And then I realized that I have broken down the walls for someone who I am pretty sure was not worth it, someone who I am not important to at all. Now, this is very hard for a cancer to accept, and it hurts like shit, and when we re-build the wall it is even stronger than the last time. But honestly, I refuse to be the last task on M's to-do list.
So basically, this past week has been really horrible for me. I feel very hurt, especially because he is sitting over there going on with his life completely clueless of how it is impacting me.
This takes me to today, the 3rd contact from him since he left. He IM'd me, and I felt sick to my stomach. I didn't accuse or ask any questions even though I was wondering how he thought not talking to me for a week was stepping up? Instead I let the IM flow naturally, seeing where he would take it. And he took it to M-land. Meaning, the 15 min IM session was all about him. Then I had to go and he had to eat, and I shut down the computer. But I was really fucking pissed - I felt like I was his goddamn penpal therapist. So I turned the compu back on and added something to the IM, something really passive aggressive, along the lines of: not that you asked how I am or anything but I've had a really shit week, I can't sleep and I've lost 4 lbs because I've lost my appetite. have a good night. then I turned the compu off and left! All of that, the sleepless nights and no appetite, is true by the way, and it is all because I am fucking confused as shit about his actions/inactions, and disappointed that I have wasted so much time on an absolutely self-centered gemini prick.
I was gone for a couple of hours, but when I returned there was a response back on the compu, but it was cryptic. He wrote, among other things, "apparantly I am a real bastard now" which when I first read it I translated it as "geez I'm such an idiot that i didn't even ask about you." But after reading it again, and the line following it ("i'm not going to say more, hope we can TALK about it soon"), I am translating it a little differently, more like he is pissed that I was trying to lay a guilt trip on him. Which yeah Iwas. Asshole.
So, THAT is how it's going. It totally sucks. I am finally tonight, after a week of being in a really fucked up place, ok with the fact that I am going to be his stupid penpal. I have my appetite back finally but that is a bit of a pity because I just bought somereally hot pants at H&M and I'll probably not fit in them now that I can eat.
This is the most recent history of my long distance relationship:
I took that week after M left to try and think about things. It was really easy to do because he never once contacted me. In fact, since he has been back (3 weeks now) he has only contacted me 3 times. Can you already note I'm a bit peeved?
Back to M's departure. I decided to not contact him for a week and reflect. In that week I realized I really couldn't sort my own ideas out because I had no idea how he felt about me. I knew that if he said this could really be something, that I would give it a go. But he has never said anything other than "you're cute." What the fuck does that mean? Somehow the next time we talked I needed him to actually verbalize on a scale of "i like you - i care a lot for you - I love you" how he feels for me to really know how to proceed. Of course I am not stupid enough to demand and break it down like that.
Anyway, I had to "schedule" our next conversation, because he didn't seem to have any concept of time nor the need to contact me at all. That convo happened last Monday, almost a week after he got back.
Before I go on I want to tell you that I am a Cancer, and inherently with relationships that means I have a very hard shell around my heart, it is guarded with armor until a point at which I think it is ok to trust that a person can give me what I need and it is then a pleasure for me to give all I can to that person. Then I am 150% in. During the trip M pretty much broke down the wall, so I really just needed to hear that it was worth it to break it down. Even tho you may think it is "high maintenance," once I am "in" I need a lot of affirmation that I am giving so much of myself to the right person.
So, after a little catch up of the week after the trip, I did say that I didn't know how he felt about me. He said "I can't believe you don't know how I feel about you!" But he didn't actually then tell me, so I have, after 3 weeks come to my own conclusions, and if they are wrong, it's his fault for not clarifying.
But I digress. In that convo I told him that I felt a little neglected; that because he hadn't tried to contact me I felt like I wasn't important to him, he gave me a "pfh, oh come on." We talked and he said he was still thinking of moving to here (geez, can't tell me how he feels but he's moving here for me), and all the hang-ups he has to weigh, like leaving when he has good career ops, leaving in general, and what if he moves here and we break up, then what does he have? I told him he's putting the cart before the horse, because I need to feel like I am missed and important and I am not getting that, and these are things I will always need in a relationship, and if he doesn't want to, or isn't capable, of doing it now, then there will never be concern about moving here because we won't make it to that point. He said that I was fully capable of contacting him too, and I agreed, but I also informed him that when he contacts me on his own volition it makes my day and makes me feel amazing blah blah blah so please try...he said he understood and would try to contact me more but he didn't want it to feel like an obligation. I said I don't want it to feel like he's being forced either, and we both felt a little better.
I still didn't hear how he feels about me, but based on how he communicates I could safely say it was minimally "cares a lot." I was giving him a lot of the benefit of the doubt, convincing myself that his inability to communicate his feelings to me, along with the fact that he didn't communicate as often as I would like, were all cause of his being Foreign, and that maybe that's just not how it's done There, and maybe the previous women in his life have never asked it of him. But after that Big Talk, he disappeared again. I rationalized that with the whole "2 jobs, the wedding video and the website" i.e., his really busy factor, but it was getting harder and harder to rationalize. I was wondering if thinking he "cares a lot" was being a little aggressive on my part and that "he's just not into me" was more where we stood.
It was very difficult but I refused to contact him first. The stupid thing about him though, is that he leaves a very obvious trail of activity - so I can see when he is online and not contacting me, and I can when he is trolling his friends blogs and leaving comments and he's not bothering to contact me. So I was getting really pissed because what am I, an afterthought? And then I realized that I have broken down the walls for someone who I am pretty sure was not worth it, someone who I am not important to at all. Now, this is very hard for a cancer to accept, and it hurts like shit, and when we re-build the wall it is even stronger than the last time. But honestly, I refuse to be the last task on M's to-do list.
So basically, this past week has been really horrible for me. I feel very hurt, especially because he is sitting over there going on with his life completely clueless of how it is impacting me.
This takes me to today, the 3rd contact from him since he left. He IM'd me, and I felt sick to my stomach. I didn't accuse or ask any questions even though I was wondering how he thought not talking to me for a week was stepping up? Instead I let the IM flow naturally, seeing where he would take it. And he took it to M-land. Meaning, the 15 min IM session was all about him. Then I had to go and he had to eat, and I shut down the computer. But I was really fucking pissed - I felt like I was his goddamn penpal therapist. So I turned the compu back on and added something to the IM, something really passive aggressive, along the lines of: not that you asked how I am or anything but I've had a really shit week, I can't sleep and I've lost 4 lbs because I've lost my appetite. have a good night. then I turned the compu off and left! All of that, the sleepless nights and no appetite, is true by the way, and it is all because I am fucking confused as shit about his actions/inactions, and disappointed that I have wasted so much time on an absolutely self-centered gemini prick.
I was gone for a couple of hours, but when I returned there was a response back on the compu, but it was cryptic. He wrote, among other things, "apparantly I am a real bastard now" which when I first read it I translated it as "geez I'm such an idiot that i didn't even ask about you." But after reading it again, and the line following it ("i'm not going to say more, hope we can TALK about it soon"), I am translating it a little differently, more like he is pissed that I was trying to lay a guilt trip on him. Which yeah Iwas. Asshole.
So, THAT is how it's going. It totally sucks. I am finally tonight, after a week of being in a really fucked up place, ok with the fact that I am going to be his stupid penpal. I have my appetite back finally but that is a bit of a pity because I just bought somereally hot pants at H&M and I'll probably not fit in them now that I can eat.
1.21.2006
The Man is Troubling Me
It has been almost 3 weeks since my man visited me. Since then we have only spoken 2 times. If he were an American guy, I would follow the latest rule of thumb and chalk it up to "he's just not that into you." But he's a Euro-guy, and as much all men have some basic, shall we say.... traits, I don't know if he can necessarily be categorized into "not into you" based on the same forms or the frequency of communication. Now, he's got some claims (of course he misses me!) and he's got some things to blame (the time difference is getting in the way! [er, right, after a year and a half of long distance, all of the sudden the time difference is getting in the way?] I'm SO busy with work!), but I'm still very troubled by all of this. Actually, I was troubled. Last week. Then I explained to him for a half hour what I need from him for me to feel important in his life. I even gave him an out. Yet nothing changed. So now, I am WAY. PAST. TROUBLED. I'm over it.
1.06.2006
Back to a Pack
Fuck you. Making this decision has brought me back to smoking a pack a day. Nevermind the possibility that I have a $2.3 million dollar deal in the works, this decision is really fucking me up.
Game Over... I think
I guess you are good for me but you cannot complete the puzzle. It's like getting to level 8 when a game has 20 levels. I get somewhere, but I don't win. Game over. Fuck, that really sucks, because I like you. Now I just have to figure out how to tell you it's done. Is it ok for me to just say to you "game over?"
It's Dark in Here
It's dark in here. I've just spent 2 weeks with you, the first time since August. You live so far away, man, so so far. And guess what? Now that you're gone, I'm brooding on the negatives. I'm taking "some time off" from you, hoping I will notice the positves. But man, we are an old married couple, and it sucks!
Let me tell you my concerns:
1. Not enough affection, private or public. I need "Love Love Love", to quote the Beatles.
2. Who are your friends? Why are you telling me about people with cyber-lives, is that all you know? Don't you have friends from university, work, or when you were on the Dutch national rowing team???
3. OK I won't talk about real estate. If you promise not to talk about people you only know from the internet. Fuck you, too.
4. Our sex drives don't match. Don't you see I am wet for you all the time? Why are you rolling over and touching yourself? If you can only be with me sporadically throughout a year, why the fuck are you fondling yourself when I AM RIGHT HERE?
Aargh. For some reason, I am thinking this is not a match? Yes, I am definitely thinking this is not a match. And the funny thing is, the weather was horrible when you were here. And then you left and the sun came out. Now that I am trying to figure this shit out, all I can hear through my open window is fog horns: a ship has been attempting to enter the bay safely for over and hour, and the conversation between that ship and the lighthouse is far more intriguing than the ones we had when you were here. Shit, you know what? That really sucks.
Let me tell you my concerns:
1. Not enough affection, private or public. I need "Love Love Love", to quote the Beatles.
2. Who are your friends? Why are you telling me about people with cyber-lives, is that all you know? Don't you have friends from university, work, or when you were on the Dutch national rowing team???
3. OK I won't talk about real estate. If you promise not to talk about people you only know from the internet. Fuck you, too.
4. Our sex drives don't match. Don't you see I am wet for you all the time? Why are you rolling over and touching yourself? If you can only be with me sporadically throughout a year, why the fuck are you fondling yourself when I AM RIGHT HERE?
Aargh. For some reason, I am thinking this is not a match? Yes, I am definitely thinking this is not a match. And the funny thing is, the weather was horrible when you were here. And then you left and the sun came out. Now that I am trying to figure this shit out, all I can hear through my open window is fog horns: a ship has been attempting to enter the bay safely for over and hour, and the conversation between that ship and the lighthouse is far more intriguing than the ones we had when you were here. Shit, you know what? That really sucks.
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