Hello I am Dark Again.

Hello. I am Dark again. It has been a long time since I have been Dark. The funny thing is that, at this time many people are feeling Hope (Obama! And Bushwacked is leaving office!). But I have love issues again, and that trumps all National Euphoria, right? Right.

So here's the deal. New Man. Good Man. Good Man swooped/swept me off my goddamn feet in the first couple of weeks. For a while there, I was like, Whoa Charlie, slow the whole Parade down! And then, without even me needing to say that, he did. He did slow the Parade down because of a Family Tragedy.

Now, I'm a nice, Very Patient Girl, and I was really nice and patient. I am trying to be the best, most sexy reliable girl you could possibly lean on in a time when your father passes and you are trying to not only figure your own place out but what will become of the remaining family. Yes, I am lying low, I am not asking for ANYTHING even though I need a few small reassurances just to keep the fuel pump working. But your flow, Mister, has stopped. Your oil well of affection is dry and I am tired of fishing an empty well. And so, as much as I like you, and I did open a teeny tiny bit to you, and because of that I am only a little bit hurt... I'd rather be a little bit hurt and not A LOT hurt and so I am moving on. And still fucking Dark , and wondering why My Life Path chooses Me to be the One at the High School Reunion who is Single And (Pretending) to Love It! when everyone else there hase 2 or 1.5 kids and a picket shit fence and a person to share life with and kids to teach stuff to when I am the Child Whisperer without any Partner or Children of my own. So, for crying out loud, I am crying out loud upset about this... I only say it here, where I allow myself to be dark... because if you were me, in my fucking Mayberry where only my Mom is upset with my "success" as an independent woman because being an Independent Woman in her eyes means Failing to Find and Capture the Right Husband to Make Grandchildren With, then you would be Dark and extremely Upset too, since This Man, Who Made You Believe for Several Weeks That You Are His One and Only, was only leading you on. Again.

But, as a Dark soul speaking honestly to you, I cannot wait to meet the other man, the one who I know will help me fade out of the Dark and be happy... so I hope you see this too. This was just a rant, not a bullet to the head.

Cheers in 2009.
Mona.